Whether intended or not, you’ve been someone’s toxic person they needed to leave behind.
If you take a moment to revel in your life, you probably have what I call the graduation goggles on — all the negative times of the event you are moving away from fall away and your brain only lets you remember the golden parts. Well, sometimes we forget or lack the apathy to realize we have made someone’s life a living hell. Yes, you have. Unfortunately, how everyone receives verbal and non verbal signals is different. It’s the beauty and the tragedy of the world. Maturity if realizing your impact on the outer world, your actions and words have consequences. Now, you can’t be perfect for everyone. It is NOT your responsibility for others reactions, but it can still be your fault.
Johnny is running with his small bag of his most important items, GI joes, and his space cowboy blanket. He is angry, angry because his parents are fighting… AGAIN. So he took it upon himself to run away from the yelling. Johnny is responsible for his actions, he chose to react in said way. However, the fault rests on the parents for cultivating that environment Johnny had to respond to. Do you see?
Whether we intend to create this environment or toxicity for the people around us, sometimes we do. The reasons we do this are a plenty– resentment towards a spouse for not doing enough, lack of financial support even though you are working countless hours, sleep deprivation from the newest member of you clan, lack of adequate health and exercise, you get the point–whatever the reason for your negative responses to your own environment or life, allows you to continue this negativity onward to others around you. We extended what we react to. If you want your surroundings to feel better, be more positive, you must consciously choose to extend those “vibes”. YOU CAN NOT FACILITATE TO OTHERS REACTIONS, but you are at fault for what environment you create around your self. So to my point…
You’ve been the toxic person someone has had to leave behind. You could be aware of this, or not. You could have made some hefty mistakes that don’t define you, but have carried a lot of weight that needed to be left where it occurred–the past along with the collateral damage (the people around you). You may not even realize how your personality may affect someone, you may not realize you are so intoxicating that a person cannot focus on themselves because they are so enthralled in you. That’s not a bad thing–to you anyways. You are not intentionally doing anything but being yourself, and sometimes it just doesn’t mix well with someone else–like oil and water. It does not make you toxic per say, but rather just toxic to a certain person. Mistakes do not define you, how people may react to you does not define you, only you can control how you react. You are only RESPONSIBLE for you, but even when you are not trying to be “toxic” or anything else negative for that matter, you may still be at fault for someone else’s reaction.
Now you want next level maturity, game changing sensibility–imagine: you understand how different people are, how different perspectives are necessary to our culture, and realize that even though you are not intentionally trying to impose harm, you still may be, and that’s okay. Its okay you are who you are, and ITS OKAY they are who they are. It is just best for you two, to not expend energy trying to make the same poles of a magnet attract when you clearly are meant to repel. It does not mean you are wrong or they are wrong, it just means you are not compatible. This also does not mean there should be a lack of respect and anger between you two, because you see the world differently. Told you, game changing practicality. Only if it were that easy for people… some choose to reside in the ignorance of their own bliss at the expense of refusing to view other points of view. Which is fine, right? Yolo as they say, you have to make your life yours, you only have one. But, isn’t that our self-destructive demise? Not wanting to do better, for the greater good, rather than yourself? We’d rather leave future generations to clean up our consequential mess rather than having the nerve to take care of ourselves, take responsibility for own actions.